Small things, seeds sown, mustard seeds growing into leggy plants, doing your bit and maybe others seeing the growth. I listened to the Lee Abbey Summer sessions while doing tea prep. Bishop Jackie Searle was preaching on the parable of the sower. Somehow it trickled hope into me that anything I may have done or contributed isn't in vain. It certainly made producing a "spanish style" (sort of) fish stew - olives/fish/left over homemade tomato sauce and leftover veg go more smoothly. Leftovers - because I sat for an hour last night in the mother of all traffic jams when I should have gone to Morrisons! So because I had an early swim I did a hasty online delivery for today.
I miss Lee Abbey. I miss real live church. But Bishop Jackie used the example of the suffering and persecuted church and their faithfulness. And somehow that helped. As does the returning hope of being able to walk longer distances. (small victories) Today was the first time I put my (empty) walkers rucksack back on and cinched the waist belt, tightened the chest straps. I know I can fit into my walking trousers - and today for the first time I had no pain swimming. I'd forgotten the joy of being able to kick hard and also to walk normally without realising it. My heart goes out to those for whom restriction of movement is life long and for whom pain is a constant. Realising this week for the first time that I have slept and woken up without pain is a sweet thing. And I know that in six months time God willing I will have forgotten what serious physical weakness feels like. At least I hope so. It's going to take a bit of patience rebuilding the ability to walk up hills. I'm re reading the Salt Path before going to sleep and what a superb writer Raynor Winn is. Homeless, with a death sentenced husband, cash strapped yet they walked the South West Coast Path. I will wait for the sequel the Wild Silence to come out in paperback!
No comments:
Post a Comment