Blue Peter

In the immortal words of Blue Peter, here's one I prepared earlier.  You probably need to be in your forties at least but they said it so frequently....my back is a little tweaky so the distraction of writing is needed.

On Sunday I went back to the walk around Ludwell Valley - what a difference a month makes.  Last time was two layers, a fleece and jacket, hat and decidedly shivery brrrr.  Now there was that sticky pre stormy heat, very close and still and I was hot in linen trousers and my burglar Bill stripe T shirt.  Avoiding people on a Sunday meant a lunch time walk and the fields were a transformed carpet of buttercups, glossy and glorious.  Drifts of cherry blossom confetti and swathes of what google tells me are speedwell - as well as stands of bluebells in the wooded bits. Wild flowers are not my speciality - having had to type "common British blue wildflowers"!

Families are picknicking on the grass and benches, I can hear kids playing football - it feels so very normal.  But "new normal" as we walk two metres apart, stepping off paths. 

Marathon

Marathon - or should it be Snickers? Daft name for a chocolate bar that usually sits in my rucksack on VERY long walks - my friend Sandy and I call it our emergency knickers...



The cut away section is for my lovely friend Phyl who took a quiz identifying chocolate bars.  And found it so hard because she only likes dark chocolate.  No such luck for me! Sounds like a fabulous quiz to me - we have Zoom quizzes now and I do extremely variably on them

Marathon - that's this lockdown isn't it?  At the end of 5 weeks I would say this has been the toughest week yet.  And I don't know why - aching hip that an osteopath could have fixed in half an hour is only just easing, unable to get masking tape for painting project for May, having to thin and trim my own hair as it's so fine and annoying, little energy because I truly want a hug and a coffee with friends - trivial first world problems - except the hug - we are social beings.  And being an annoying irritable oik - to me!!  Makes me realise I have quite a temper if I didn't know that already....

I'm loving Exeter's beautiful parks, the flowers, taking photos, and having the luxury of reading for a couple hours each day.  Any more and I start calling myself a sofa hog. Currently I'm reading "Vindolanda" another Adrian Goldsworthy "sword and sandals" Roman epic, but so far it seems better written than the end one of the series I'd borrowed from the library.  Our hero has a serious drink problem at the start and has just been thrown in a horse trough to sober up before being helped onto his horse to canter out into the unknown...

I'm also still reading the excellent "Bad birdwatchers companion" and have just read the section on woodpeckers and jays.  I didn't know Green woodpeckers ate insects so mostly skulk on the ground.  It makes me long to see the gaudy Jay - I know it's scream and look for it in oak woods but have never yet seen one to my annoyance.  And the green woodpeckers "yaffle" laugh is another I know well and have never seen.  But at least I've now seen the Great Spotted Woodpecker!!!

Just about to finish the "Victorian House" which has been so very good.  Full of weird facts, including the length of time respectable upper/middle class Victorians spent in morning - death obsession with plumes, crape, mourning jewellery.  The section on the sick room and the death by breast cancer of an eminent Plymouth Brethren lady was totally harrowing.  Thank God for chemo, for modern treatments and of course for the NHS.


Lockdown: when the highlight of a week is pudding on Sunday.  You know that this is a good thing.  This week it's collapsed chocolate courgette cake with custard.  Oh heck I'd better go for a walk to earn my brownie points towards it!

Green Circle

Exeter's Green Circle walk has eluded me.  Never walked it!  I cannot believe this is true and I am ashamed to say I have also never visited the underground passages, the Guildhall or St Nicholas Priory.  What an admission of guilt.  When we are released from lockdown I intend to visit all except the Guildhall which looks a bit intimidating to me.

12.5 miles of green lanes and quiet roads
  https://exeter.gov.uk/leisure-and-culture/walking-in-exeter/exeter-green-circle-walks/overview/

It's beautiful: managed 8 miles of it today including getting home, walking up Mincinglake Park through to the top of Stoke Valley Road and then down through Lower Argyll Road - then the green lanes turned into slight chaos with the loss of access to the university.

 There are good information boards about trees there but I lost the green circle marks and kept being told the path was shut.

So I backtracked and ended up via another superb green lane, where something large and dark hurdled a fence - I suspect a deer as best fit candidate and then walking along Cowley Bridge Road and then up through the main university road and back home, via a slight detour into Duryard and Belvedere valley park because I have not been there and it looked so green, so inviting - and had a scenic bench. I'm looking forward to trying another part of it tomorrow starting at Ludwell Valley Park and hopefully finding the Riverside Valley Park bit.  So much twittering bird life.  And squirrels.  A few runners and dog walkers but it is so very very peaceful.  

Bluebells & Wild Garlic

Today's mum's birthday and delivering food gives me the perfect excuse to stand in full waterproofs and chat to them.  New normal.  Bless them, they still have books and jigsaws and mum has her own chocolate cake and my own disastrous effort.  (it broke in 3 bits - I ate the goey middle section)

Escaping for a walk afterwards I sniff lilac, gorse and bluebells along the path down to the Byes and can smell the wild garlic before I see it.  There's little fun in wearing full waterproofs on a steamy warm day.  But this is much more like most of my walking life. Crossing over the bridge to Fortescue there is a thrush singing enthusiastically and I've seen dunnock, chaffinch, robin and a great tit.  I feel very guilty driving over - weird guilt since it is a legitimate errand.

The seafront is pretty well deserted.  All the usual elderlies are indoors and the Spring visitors aren't here.  The sea has a sharp dividing line between deep restless grey slate and creamy wave tossed milk chocolate.  The pull back wash sound of the sea on the pebbles makes me heart sick.  I love the sea and miss it.  Sadly being here makes me gloomy and preoccupied.  It's far worse when I can't help those I love but at least they are ok.

 Coming back, I see that facebook is tempting me to this attractive virtual challenge.

www.theconqueror.events/hadrians

walking along the length of Hadrian's wall in a month.  It's a lot of money though and at 7.5 miles a week over a month, it's hardly a challenge!  However, the T shirt looks fun

Walking on the Wild Side

Well another good song title - Lou Reed?  Not a fan but it describes the way this lockdown is affecting me.  Four weeks off?  Never heard of since I was 19. The only times I have had this amount of time and space have been during periods of redundancy - and they were saturated with anxiety, feverish hunting for work - one of the most draining and depressing exercises in futility, and recently barely remunerative temping - for which I am extremely grateful - a legacy of two new friends and this current job - which, to be fair, started as a short term contract rather than a temp job.

The weather has helped.  So much.  I come alive in the Spring and Summer, tolerate Autumn and absolutely hate Winter.  The dark plays tricks on my psyche and body clock - I get unpleasant SAD in addition to anxiety - thank God for regular medication.  I am on it for life and so thankful for it this time of hyper-anxious/dreadful newscasting and appalling suffering for so many including friends working in the NHS.

So I feel a bit guilty writing this, but actually - despite some horrible days, including Easter Sunday when I have just wanted to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head,( - not done but tempted to) I have felt it's been a wake up call and "mid life review"(well late mid life my maths is bad but mid life is optimistic!)

I've discovered: how beautifully green Exeter is.  Trees/flowers/birdsong/Ludwell & Mincinglake valley parks, green lanes around the university, walks along the river and canal/belle isle park.  Definitely planning to frequent these once lives are back to a semblance of normal.

I'm an introvert: yes, I know that, but 11 years of telephones and sales and above mentioned job hunting left little "introvert time" plus I attend a wonderful but active, extrovert friendly church - I need to make sure the "tank gets filled up" by books/puzzles/quiet walks and definitely, definitely photography.  As a friend, as a church member, as a daughter with responsibilities to ageing parents, this time is going to have to be put in my diary and guarded - I love being with friends and know I need to support my parents more as they age. I'm loving rediscovering jigsaws!  As a child my family did a lot of them and last year I bought a jigsaw mat to do them comfortably and leave my dining room table free when required.  But I don't know - I only allowed myself charity shop ones.  They are all about 20 years old, full of big skies, boats and cottages and dimly smell of damp.  Thanks to Amazon and lockdown I have a couple of lovely new ones and one on the way which is all beer bottles (!) No sky hallelujah!!

And reading, trying to read old books I already have along with the new ones.  I figure what I am saving in haircuts/coffee/cinema with ambulance friends totally justifys this. 

I have also found that even I can make cake.  Courgette chocolate cake, flapjack so far. Edible and a good way to invest time - I find cooking extremely relaxing.

Going to be a hard call going back to work...but I need that and am very grateful for a regular job

Happy Easter

It's a frabjous day.  Or at least it was early this morning when I got up to see the sunrise and celebrate the resurrection - well, no actually I crawled out of bed very cross at 5am for a cuppa and watched "Welsh Noir" - episode 3 of the 2nd series of Hidden....not exactly an Easter watch but very, very good.

Cross - I am not sleeping.  Coffee in my takeaway cup and out for a walk to the river and the sun is up and lovely, there is cherry blossom and deep magenta magnolia flowers, a moorhen and swan are nesting in the most ridiculous place where they will be flooded out should it rain. And I see "early costa elegant lady" who usually has coffee and a sausage sarnie there on a Saturday morning.  She's lovely.  She reads, drinks coffee and a glass of water and has that air of refined quietness that I always wish I had!!! She probably wishes she had the gift of chatting to everyone they meet......

Happy Easter!! Mark's gospel has my favourite ending, the women go with spices to the tomb really early - fear? Risk? Can't wait to give? Anxious - who is going to roll the stone?  They don't see Jesus - but an angel/young man in white tells them they are in the wrong place - he's not here with the dead.  They are commisioned to go tell his disciples - but they do what I would have done - they flee, bewildered, anxious, very upset - and they don't tell anyone! How real is that? They know dead people don't usually rise.  I suspect good news takes a long time to process, to overcome their profound grief.  They were in the right place, they probably didn't expect much to happen, they were doing the right things - in love.  And what a morning they had.

There will be more "Hidden" welsh drama later, but for now it's Stuart Townend "Come people of the Risen King" & "See what a morning" oh and for sheer vocal gymnastics and out of this world piano playing, an old song Keith Green "Easter Song"  I am so glad we don't have to sing this one - his passion for Jesus puts me totally to shame and his vocal range is unbelievable. 

What the Victorians Did for us

To borrow the title of a very good TV documentary series presented by Adam Hart Davis.  I'm reading an excellent, battered, yellowed, coffee stained 2nd hand book by Judith Flanders "The Victorian House"  As you'd expect, it is a big, thick book, with page on page of densely packed detail.  By reading this blog, you will know I am thoroughly enjoying the detail....

My house was built in the 1850s. Rapid shifts in the perception of women's role and place and the view of the character and "depravity" of the "working classes" have occurred since then.  Detailed descriptions of the slave labour that "service" entailed make me think that society was brutal and very hypocritical.  I know we probably are no different but looking back we have different lenses and are pretty blind to our own faults.

What struck me in particular was the daily fight against dirt - which the Victorians associated with moral rectitude - cockroaches, black beetles and the dreaded bed bugs.  Mice and rats were considered vermin but far less so than the above. Smuts and filth of coal fires and smog.  Poor drains and basic sewerage until later in the century.  My granny was in service and the amount of cleaning, lifting and shifting makes me wince - no wonder she was hard and tough. 

I'm only a quarter through the book but the other striking element is thrift.  We'd call it recycling, but they wasted nothing.  My mum tells me tales of wartime when paper was cut up for toilet paper but they took this further - tea leaves were reused as a means of lifting dirt from carpets, and food was treated with utmost respect - endless leftovers.  I look forward to reading the rest of the book.

I'm also discovering new things to photograph most days.  Looking through a lens slows my overthinking down to a manageable and more sane level. And blogging about it all feels like communicating! There are some truly wild and wonderful things in our neighbourhood.  I particularly enjoyed discovering this one https://floworchardexeter.uk. 

Calling Time

LORD, I HAVE TIME (Michel Quoist)

"Abbe Michel Quoist All men complain that they haven't enough time. They look at their lives from too human a point of view. There is always time to do what God wants us to do, but we must put ourselves completely into each moment that he offers us.

I went out, Lord.
People were coming and going,
Walking and running.

Everything was rushing:
Cars, trucks, the street, the whole town.
People were rushing not to waste time.
They were rushing after time,
To catch up with time.
To gain time.

Good-bye, Sir, excuse me, I haven't time.
I'll come back. I can't wait. I haven't time.
I must end this letter--I haven't time.
I'd love to help you, but I haven't time.
I can't accept, having no time.
I can't think, I can't read, I'm swamped, I haven't time.
I'd like to pray, but I haven't time.

You understand, Lord,
They simply haven't the time.
The child is playing,
He hasn't time right now...Later on...
The schoolboy has his homework to do,
He hasn't time...Later on...
The student has his courses,
And so much work...Later on...
The young married man has his new house;
He has to fix it up...He hasn't time...Later on...
The grandparents have their grandchildren.
They haven't time...Later on...
They are ill, they have their treatments,
They haven't time...Later on...
They are dying, they have no...
Too late!...They have no more time!

And so all people run after time, Lord.
They pass through life running--
Hurried, jostled, overburdened, frantic,
And they never get there. They haven't time.
In spite of all their efforts
They're still short of time,
Of a great deal of time.
Lord, you must have made a mistake in your calculations,
There is a big mistake somewhere.
The hours are too short.
Our lives are too short.

You who are beyond time, Lord,
You smile to see us fighting it.
And you know what you are doing.
You make no mistakes in your distribution of time to men.
You give each one time to do what you want him to do.
But we must not lose time,
waste time,
kill time,
For it is a gift that you give us,
But a perishable gift,
A gift that does not keep.

Lord, I have time,
I have plenty of time,
All the time that you give me,
The years of my life,
The days of my life,
The days of my years,
The hours of my days,
They are all mine.
Mine to fill, quietly, calmly,
But to fill completely, up to the brim,
To offer them to you, that of their insipid water
You may make a rich wine
Such as you made once in Cana of Galilee.
I am not asking you tonight, Lord,
For time to do this and then that,
But for your grace to do conscientiously,
In the time that you give me,
What you want me to do."

(From "Prayers of Life")

I loved this prayer when I first discovered it as a new Christian, ages ago.  It has come back to haunt me in the last few days.  I am a "hurry up" person. I was a hyperactive child who crashed and burned by 3pm and who probably drove mum to distraction - dad, well he is still an active person well into his 80s.  I've just finished shouting Happy Birthday down the phone to him! I find that what I am learning is I do have time, for the important things - Just that I have to make sure I allocate it!!! And that's really hard.  Prayer - I need a long walk first or I can't sit still- I walk and think and thank, Bible reading - ditto. (beyond the usual morning pray/bible snack breakfast!) Phoning friends/writing blogs - ditto! That's where costa was in my life - a whole hour over one coffee meant I could sit, read and think before running around doing things.

So, as I found it extremely hard to be up and about this morning- the quiet was getting to me - I had another walk.  I'm reading Simon Barnes, "A bad birdwatchers Companion" such a lovely, gentle "comfort food" book.  I am sure I used to have his "Birdwatching with your eyes closed"  but this may have been a library book or someone has borrowed it.  Birding for me is much easier with ears than eyes - today's haul is: bluetit, blackbird, magpie, song thrush, green woodpecker, jay, rook and robin, although the only ones I saw were blackbirds and magpies.  Highly recommendable books!

Another lovely comfort food is radio 4 "Open Country" for the early birds: today was Helen Glover (of rowing fame) and Steve Backshall talking about the birds and wildlife in their garden.  An egyptian goose called "Algebra"? You have to listen!

And for a rather more sobering and truly prophetic watch - I missed it in 2018 but watched on catchup - and this is why we get the constant refrain of "wash your hands/stay home" - is BBC Four's Pandemic.  This was a mathematical modelling exercise with Dr Hannah Fry - looking at the ease with which a "virtual" pandemic flu spreads. If you don't start shouting at your laptop that the government should have listened by the end of it then you are a better, calmer and more loving person than me!