First sunburn

Today was a little bit of quiet peace in what has been a frantic couple of learning a new job weeks. I'm "crying at the adverts" tired, as my friend Carol's mum used to say.  The kids in the pool today screamed as kids do and I wanted to run away and hide.  My lungs still feel tight and ineffective and I have to tell myself that I have the underscoring of good fitness and 9 miles a day in North Wales in two weeks will be fine. My lovely honorary aunty and I drove to Parke, for tea, lunch in the sun (hence the sunburn) and a gentle walk by the river, up a hill and a look over into the softening greys and lime greens of new spring tree growth. I'm a much better "by ear" bird spotter and we listen to the fantastic, inventive, full voiced male voice choir that is a song thrush. 

I know it's this bird - and I feel totally vindicated when my friend sees him flit away through the trees. We see a couple of grey wagtails perched on a stream bed rock but the place is teeming with families and dogs so we don't see a dipper.

I love the dappled green of river light and trees and the edges and complexity of tree roots. New growth springing up from an old stump.  I didn't want to sound truly pretentious but it reminded me of the bit from the bible about the new growth on an old stump - a metaphor for a renewed line of hope of a righteous ruling king. So I kept quiet!!  But it does!

We walk down along the river to Bovey.  There's an outdoor gym in the park and I have a horrible feeling there's a photo of me trying the lat pull - the chest press, lat pull and air walk are fun - the other machines look like instruments of torture built for far bigger people! And so to another cup of tea in Devon Guild of Master Craftsmen.

I've never been there.  And having walked in the woods and revelled in these beauties of blue swirls of glass, tattooes of black on slim neck wood turning and the loveliness of silk textile it strikes me God might be bored!!

I'm no singer, and being confined in a building to worship doesn't feel enticing sometimes.  I can't summon up the intensity.  I love the bible and I love Jesus, but I am a totally useless worshipper in a conventional sense and at the moment a stunning failure of a christian.  Surrounded by the most awesome artwork of God in nature - trees and water - and the outpouring of outstanding photography I just think God must feel a little bit cheated.  For the one who sculpts the deserts, arranges butterfly wing patterns and swirls the galaxies in space deserves my best.

So I will come empty handed, and give back what I have- photographs, good-enough work, good enough friendshipping, fair attempts at writing and sheer stickability.  And know myself heard and understood.