Back in June I bought my first set of lego for many many years. Diverse, respectful of Trans and non white heritage, beautifully striped, neatly made, it has sat on my shelf with the figures all orderly and sat on their right coloured stripes.
It feels like a brave and happy thing. I don't see being made in God's image as a problem to be solved, or something that I need to hide or cringe about anymore. If Exeter had had Pride this year, I would have donned a purple "Christians at Pride" T shirt and joined in, or been a steward if allowed to volunteer. What an incredible transformation those words are from the person who would have argued that God's will was singleness. I still opt for singleness, but know that this is a happenstance, a chosen option, not a forced decision because of who God has made me.
Yesterday my lego got rearranged. First the figures waved - that was the total extent of my tranformation. My spiritual director, delighted at seeing the completed set, which she had first seen as heap of little plastic shapes tipped out on her table, moved the black lady to the pink spot. And vice versa. I felt slightly uncomfortable. Change very rarely comes at my hand!
"Leave it on your shelf" she said "your visitors will play" Not just the visitors but the homeowner. It occurred to me that transposing the colours and the wigs would be far more fun.
And so it is.
At work, I make tiny modifications, ususally when prompted. Today, doing church felt awkward, happy, strange and encouraging - singing - weird - talking over tea and excellent sticky pastries to celebrate our vicar going on maternity leave. I'm still trying to work out where an overthinking, friendly person who would prefer to blog and to read fits in. But in all contexts of my life I am very slowly and hesitantly learning that as much as I need other people maybe they also need me.
Beautifully written as always. Made me smile…
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